On the Beat

I don't mean to be pedantic. Ok, maybe I do.

Twice today, I have read factual errors in works by authors who should frankly know better. The problem is, if they get THAT wrong, what else that I don't know about isn't right, either?

The first was a piece by Paul Theroux in Granta. I have read a lot by Theroux over the years - I used to like his travel books, and that lead to his fiction.

In this piece, he was describing being an alien in London in the 1970s. Sitting on top if the 29 bus in Lavender Hill, smoking, moving slowly through Clapham.

When I last lived in London, I was on the route of the 29 bus. It ran then (and still does) between Wood Green in north London and Victoria. It is a great bus route - not as iconic as the 24 perhaps, but pretty close. And I was surprised to learn that in the 1970s it had extended its route south of the Thames to Clapham.

So obviously there was only one thing to do.

I looked it up on Wikipedia , which details lots of route changes. But all at the north end of the route. And so whilst it is possible for Wikipedia to be wrong, I seem to trust it more than Mr Theroux.

The second episode was easier. Reading the introduction - the introduction, mind - to Stuart Maconie's "Hope and Glory", he attributes as famous quotation about the success of the French revolution - "it's too early to tell" - to Mao Zedong. This is so famous that I have heard it before, many times, ascribed rather to Zhou Enlai. And whilst he may been misquoted (and actually referring to the 1968 Paris students' uprising), he was certainly NEVER Chairman Mao.

So here I am on page 1 of a book I was expecting to enjoy, and all credibility has been blown out of the water.

Which reminds me, I really must write about Skyfall sometime soon.

I was in a deli a few minutes ago. They were selling red wine from a region of South Africa called Meerlust. I couldn't help thinking they could make a bomb marketing that in the run up to St Valentine's Day.

Whilst I'm at it, Kate Winslett and two Golden Globes - is it just my puerile sense of humour that finds this juxtaposition funny?

According to the Daily Telegraph, more than 75% of Britons are unable to name the three countries that make up Great Britain. They did a poll, of course.

(via Arbroath.)

From the BBC - Euugghh!!!

Third time lucky?

Proof that some people don't learn from the past.

If you go to Gmaps-Pedometer.com, where you can measure distances using Google maps, and search for "Scotland", it shows you the map of Scotland on Highway 25, 56.4 miles from Sioux Falls, South Dakota, USA.

Edit: And Google maps tells me that Port Charlotte (Islay) is actually in Florida...

I was dozing listening to the radio early yesterday morning, and "Wake Up To Money" was on. (This is a misnomer; I have woken up to this many, many times - but no more money than I ever have.) Half awake, I would swear that I heard them tell me the Co-Op was buying Sellafield (aka Windscale), a British nuclear facility. I was very, very confused.

It was only later that I realised they must have been talking about a bid for the supermarket chain Somerfield...

* * *

Then this morning I was glancing through radio listings in the paper when I noticed that Front Row featured Mark Lawson investigating the role of female dentists.

I had to read it again before I realised it said Mark Lawson investigates the role of the female dramatist.

Until recently, I had been spared the pain of spam, the crowding out of useful email by junk email. Somehow, though, my personal email address has been discovered by the purveyors of this junk, and I now get several spam emails a day.

( Spam! Wonderful Spam! )

Last week, on a corporate website, I read this:

" in short, can we use the board to drive policy learning to help us to stimulate the system change that will lead to a step change in achievement around the smarter outcomes?"

I have absolutely no idea what they were talking about. None at all. (Although frankie_ecap thought she understood it perfectly. I found this worrying...)

Along similar lines, today I read this:

" This strategy is set within the improvement agenda to provide momentum and structure for change".

Once more, baffled.

What’s worrying, though, is the thought I might actually write stuff similarly vacuous.

Lastly, I recently read a bottle of washing up liquid (the sad life I lead!) which promised:

"Hygenic Cleaning"

which just got me to wondering how many products were offering me unhygienic cleaning? Or am I missing something?

I have been in London for twenty four hours. I have just blown my nose. My white handkerchief has been turned black.

This only happens to me in London.