Spam Spam Spam

[rhythmaning]

Until recently, I had been spared the pain of spam, the crowding out of useful email by junk email. Somehow, though, my personal email address has been discovered by the purveyors of this junk, and I now get several spam emails a day.



And I think they are great! It is so entertaining.

In the last month or so, I have been told

• I have won millions on the the National Lottery (five times), when amazingly, I don't remember buying a single ticket
  
• I have won four prizes of $850k each in a special lottery run by those kind people at Microsoft: it appears that as well as giving his billions away to charities fighting AIDS and world poverty, Bill Gates wants to give me a few million too
  
• that knowledge of my business expertise has travelled the world, and many people in Benin, Nigeria, China, the Middle East and, surprisingly, Canada, have asked me to be their representatives in the UK. They have promised me a share of the millions of United States dollars (always spelt out in full) that they have squirelled away - usually following some sad accident or windfall, but also some great business success in the oil and gas industry (where of course I have great expertise, despite no experience at all!)
  
• that the NatWest, Egg, Lloyds, Nationwide and Halifax banks need me to confirm my password details to use their online facilities, which have presumably been set up by my overseas benefactors on my behalf, since I have never had online accounts with any of these firms

My sudden, new found wealth is quite staggering. I think I should now spend some of it getting a better spam-protection software for my PC.

Comments

[frankie-ecap.livejournal.com]

I need some new clothes.

[rhythmaning.livejournal.com]

What, you're quoting The Clash (http://www.lyricsfreak.com/c/clash/train+in+vain_20031759.html) now?

[itchyfidget.livejournal.com]

Hee!

I had junk email at work the other day (comme tojours), the subject line of which was "Can you fuck all night long? I don't think so", which just about undid me. I shared it with my office-mate and I'm sure people in the corridor wondered what the shrieks were ...

[frankie-ecap.livejournal.com]

They obviously haven't seen your worktops. Or the dishwasher.

[itchyfidget.livejournal.com]

Tu es fixée!