Getting My Shit Together.

[rhythmaning]

It was my recently my birthday. I received several cards and a couple of parcels.

Not all were so welcome. NHS Scotland decided to celebrate by sending me a bowel cancer test kit.

Lovely.

Apparently they are sending them to everyone over 50.

It comes complete with instructions, of course, and various suggestions how to collect a sample. Well, six samples from three different "bowel movements".

One of the curious things was the strange language the leaflets used. Either medical - "bowel movements" and "stools" - or infantile - "poo". No real words - no shit or crap. No words real adults use, except perhaps when talking to their children.

They suggested three methods for harvesting the crap. It was tempting to try each one, one for each sample, and see which worked best. But since one seemed to require blocking the toilet with loo paper and another wearing a plastic bag over my hand and catching it, neither seemed attractive, and I came up with my own, also involving plastic bags, but not my hand to catch it. (I can't remember what their last method was, but it didn't convince, either.)

The other thing was how squeamish the process of collecting the crap made me. I've never had children, so I haven't had to deal with soiled nappies. Indeed, I can't remember dealing with others' bodily fluids, aside, rarely, cleaning up after vomiting friends. (More often though I think they had to clean up after me.)

This was my own shit. I knew its provenance. So I was surprised how - well - squeamish I felt. There is apparently a whole science of disgust. People don't cope with it well.

And that is presumably why the NHS Scotland think we can only cope with medical or infantile terms for shit.

Curiously, though, their video campaign is much more imaginative - and "poo" works much better in song than on paper...

Comments

[nicnac.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I guess Western Society is just not used to getting its hands dirty nowadays. Does Talisker not have a litter tray, though? Referring to your experience with faeces, rather than as a method for collecting yours ;)

[rhythmaning.livejournal.com]

You are right, I clean Talisker's litter tray regularly.

I tip the whole lot in a bin bag, no handling required!

Also, perhaps because of the type of litter I use, Talisker's cat-crap always seems quite dry and desiccated. Rather different to mine, anyway!

[nicnac.livejournal.com]

Also! Happy belated birthday!

[danieldwilliam.livejournal.com]

I remember lengthy descriptions in some book I once read about how the SAS train to catch their own shit in a plastic bag, which they then carry with them to avoid detection.

The practicalities of life, eh?

[rhythmaning.livejournal.com]

Well, that's part of my SAS training completed then...!

[widgetfox.livejournal.com]

I think this is supposed to happen. It might be your shit, but if you spend too much time with it you're going to get sick. Disgust and caution are healthy responses.

[rhythmaning.livejournal.com]

I didn't mean to imply that I thought my response was in any out of the ordinary, and you are of course completely right - there are lots of reasons why such behaviour might develop.

[fiendish-cat.livejournal.com]

1) It was your birthday? You kept that quiet. Happy Birthday - hope you had a wonderful day. What did you get up to? (Apart from collecting shit.)

2) "They suggested three methods for harvesting the crap. It was tempting to try each one, one for each sample, and see which worked best." > once a scientist, always a scientist.

[fiendish-cat.livejournal.com]

I forgot 3) Am really grateful that NHS Scotland are taking bowel cancer seriously. That's what my mother had. And also my uncle. But in his case they caught it early enough and he was fine. So anything that promotes early detection is good in my book.

[rhythmaning.livejournal.com]

Indeed.

[rhythmaning.livejournal.com]

Last month! I always do. My brother and his wife came up for a few days, we went to lots of music, and generally had a good time.