Edinburgh Goes Crazy

[rhythmaning]

The Festival has come to town.

Although, despite BBC radio news announcing this morning that “the Festival season starts in Edinburgh today!”, the Festival season actually started over a week ago, with the Jazz and Blues Festival. Still, more about that in another post.

Walking back at midnight last night, the Festival had really taken hold. It was busy. The usual hen parties and stag nights were mixed up with drunken actors and tourists. This was a dangerous cocktail of cleavage and high heels, staggering alcoholics and curious Japanese. (Still - cleavage and high heels? I’m not complaining…)

One local drunk was walking along in a particularly random fashion, yelling into his mobile, “Just pick up the bloody phone!”; he fell off the kerb twice, and in desperation punched a sheet=glass window. Clearly, it seemed like a sensible thing to do at the time, as he weaved his way across the crowded pavement. (Fortunately, the glass was stronger than he was.)

Les Dennis looked distinctly out of sorts in Dundas St.

What is it about tourists that removes all common sense? Gaggles of tourists standing in the centre of the pavement, for instance – so that everyone has to walk around them.

This evening, we went to the opening night of a play at the Traverse Theatre. Going to the Traverse is always curious for me – I worked there in front of house when I was a student, when it was in its old location, just off the Grassmarket. During the Festival, the Trav becomes crowded with transplanted London luvvies: the bar this evening was packed, heaving (though at least now it is smoke free! This of course explains why every bar has discovered the joys of continental summers – and placed a large number of seats outside, so people can have a drink and a smoke and not break the law.

The play was good - Strawberries in January - rather witty, and well acted. The story was narrated by someone writing a screenplay – a little too easy, I felt (if it is a play, they should be acting out the story – not telling it), but it was funny, quite clever, and made me think about relationships.

But the whole experience – fighting through the afternoon crowds, fighting to get to the bar, standing in a stifling queue for fifteen minutes – well, it kind of took the shine of it. So it will probably be the only play we go to see.

I wanted to shout at people in the street as they meander into my path, “Get out of my way!” Actually, what I really wanted to shout was, “Get out of my city!”

Some people apparently leave Edinburgh for the whole of the Festival; and I kind of understand that. I guess Washington for a week is a pretty close match.

Comments

[white_hart]

That sounds rather like Oxford in the summer, which really is hideous. Although Oxford seems to get the tourists all year round. Sometimes I think there should be special express queues for locals, or something, and I regularly have to fight off the urge to thump the ones who stop just in front of you with no warning to gawp at some gargoyle or other.

OTOH, living someone no-one wants to visit isn't much fun either...

[rhythmaning.livejournal.com]

As far as I recall, the visitors to Oxford don't get drunk - that's left to the students and locals (so they can battle it out in the Turl!).

My mother lives in Oxford, and I've don't remember it being quite so bad. I think it is the shock of Edinburgh suddenly being overrun that is so powerful.

By the way, I hope "living someone no-one wants to visit isn't much fun either" wasn't a dig at topicaltim!

[white_hart]

The visitors may not get drunk, but that doesn't stop them forming orderly queues at the bars of the best-known pubs. Which is one of the things that particularly annoys me, especially when they're having a Coke each and paying separately. (I once spent twenty minutes waiting to be served in the Turf behind tourists. And it wasn't actually terribly busy.)

But it probably is more consistent, rather than a sudden invasion.

Gah. Typo, definitely of the non-Freudian variety!

[frankie-ecap.livejournal.com]

I used to be able to walk into the Turf and they would pour me a double brandy without even needing to ask.

At eleven o'clock in the morning.

[luckylove.livejournal.com]

I wish I could leave. Fireworks terrify me. I plan to be in a drunken, tranquilised stupor by 8.30 every night unless I can persuade my GP to give me some valium.

[f4f3.livejournal.com]

You need to plan that? Nice Shepherd Book icon, btw...

[luckylove.livejournal.com]

Well I have to make sure I'm safe at home before taking the drugs with the alcohol. That part needs planning.
How do you like this icon?

[f4f3.livejournal.com]

That's the part of the plan I never get right with the drugs and alcohol policy.

The thing is, I can believe that of Zoe.

[luckylove.livejournal.com]

I need to get that part of the plan right otherwise how else can I use my stereo to drown out the noise. Drugs, alcohol, earplugs, loud music and pray that the smoke alarm doesn't go off for real or my neighbours don't complain.

The tattoo have a special licence this year. They could let fireworks off all night long if they wanted. This is according to what the City Of Edinburgh Council told me. They wouldn't tell me how late the licence was for. Normally times of the year it's 11pm. On Saturday they were still going off at 12.20am and will be doing that for the next 3 weeks. Joy. I'm about ready to hire Mal and the crew to blow up the castle and cancel the tattoo permanently.

[f4f3.livejournal.com]

Now if you went and did that, you'd end up with a volcano where the castle used to be, and a herd of cattle in your front room. Of course, you wouldn't pay him so that's something.

[luckylove.livejournal.com]

thanks for making me laugh today. I really needed that. Thank you!

[f4f3.livejournal.com]

Well that worked out well :-)

[rhythmaning.livejournal.com]

Well, sorry, but I like the fireworks. (Strangely, I wrote "pirates". That is weird.) I stood in the street and watched some of them last night.

Don't they "only" have late fireworks on Fridays and Saturdays?

Anyhow, good luck in your alcohol-and-drug oblivion!

[luckylove.livejournal.com]

The mon-fri show fireworks are at 9pm and 10.30pm. The Saturday shows have fireworks at 7.30pm, 10.30pm and 12.00am. They have a special licence so they can ignore the "no fireworks within city limits after 11pm" law. This sucks. They ALWAYS run late so the fireworks usually go off at 11pm or later and when you have a fireworks phobia it's rather unpleasant. The earplugs and really loud music wasn't enough on Saturday so I ended up self harming again. This means it's drugs and alcohol from now on unless my GP gives me valium. I doubt she will. Drugs, alcohol and self harm. It worked on Saturday, eventually.
*shrugs and wanders off*