The strange connected world of modern life.

[rhythmaning]

As well as LJ, I also have a page on Facebook – as you may remember, since I have posted before about how Facebook doesn’t actually make much sense to me – I get a lot of value from LJ, and derive hardly any from Facebook. Clearly, a lot of people do get a lot from it (not least the founder, Mark Zuckerberg, who is now a multi-millionaire).

A lot of people I know are on Facebook – lots of members of my family, even. But it still doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. I simply don’t get it.

I logged on to Facebook this afternoon, and there was something sitting in my inbox: a communication from a long ex girlfriend. One of my earliest girlfriends – someone I haven’t heard from in probably twenty five years, maybe more (though I did see her recently: she was on Dragons’ Den a while back; I wrote a short post about that, but I can’t find it now. I really must remember to tag my posts… Edit: That post is here - found by franki_ecap!).

I feel rather uncomfortable about this, although it is hard to see why. It was a simple communication – “it is you isn't it?” (of course the answer is yes; it couldn’t possibly be no; and given that people tell me I have hardly changed since I was a student, she could see that anyhow). I really don’t know if I want to get in touch or not – she didn’t send a friends request or anything (indeed, there is no need to respond at all).

I had a look through her friends list – in Facebook, people use their real names, so I wanted to see who else I knew from my teenage years was around. It was strange – I could build a picture of her life: family, children, relationships and so on. (Curiously, she hadn’t picked up on a couple of friends of mine who are on Facebook.)

I don’t think I will get in touch: there is a reason we haven’t kept in touch (I am sure there are lots of ways we could have if we had wanted to).

Comments

[frankie-ecap.livejournal.com]

Damn, I'm good.

[rhythmaning.livejournal.com]

Indeed, you are. I only went back as far as October! Thanks.

[psychochicken.livejournal.com]

I didn't really see a lot of point in it either, and still don't in the vast majority of the stuff that people do (be a jedi, a pirate or a werewolf; compare each other to find out who's "hottest" and what-not) but it has proved its worth to me.

LJ is a writing exercise for me. I don't think of it as a keeping-in-touch tool. On LJ I have recontacted two cousins I haven't heard from in at least 5 years, a couple of folks from college, some friends from NZ, a member of the Singapore Elvis Bar Party Team and a whole bunch of random people who share my really quite unusual surname all over the world. Its been, and continues to be, kind of fun.

I'll confess to searching for a few people I really ought not to get back in touch with. Fortunately I haven't found any of them, which has saved me from the quandry. I have however done the "are you the person I knew" message for someone in the aforementioned party team. Turned out it wasn't.

[rhythmaning.livejournal.com]

I think I treat LJ as a writing/photography thing; sometime I should post about it, since I do feel I view it as a rather different medium from, say, frankie_ecap: it is about sharing writing and ideas, rather than having conversations.

[psychochicken.livejournal.com]

Sorry, that plainly should've read "on Facebook I've contacted two cousins..." etc.

[rhythmaning.livejournal.com]

I must admit I was surprised that you'd found people on LJ! Though I know some people use their real-life names as well.

[topicaltim.livejournal.com]

I joined Facebook without any clear idea of what I'd do with it - the answer appears to be "play Scrabble" and "nothing else".

[rhythmaning.livejournal.com]

Clearly, there is also the well-known application "look up long lost lovers"!

[topicaltim.livejournal.com]

I don’t think I will get in touch: there is a reason we haven’t kept in touch (I am sure there are lots of ways we could have if we had wanted to).

Out of interest, are you on Friends Reunited? This sums up my attitude to that, really: if you lose contact with people, it generally indicates that one or both of you didn't care enough about staying in touch to do it. Granted, you'll get the childhood sweethearts who were separated when one of them emigrated in the days before e-mail and Google, and it's sweet when they find each other again; but in general I think if your only driver for looking up an old friend / flame / whatever is that there is a site that lets you do it without any great effort, you probably don't care that much about picking up the threads. YMMV, of course.

[parthenia14.livejournal.com]

I guess what I really don't get is why you're meant to be there. I'm on LJ for quite a clear reason, even if it doesn't feel that way always - conversations like this!

It probably makes sense in a university/college environment. Feels like a virtual pub really, modestly entertaining from time to time, but very limited. I do use some of the business groups, but I dislike the interface and the vagueness of the settings.

[rhythmaning.livejournal.com]

"Virtual pub" is a really interesting analogy! I like the idea of pubs much more than pubs themselves - though I do like sitting in the pub reading, or chatting with friends - but rarely with strangers.

[jen-c-w.livejournal.com]

a boyfriend I went out with for two years when I was 18 mailed me over it.
I just didn't see the point of responding.

[rhythmaning.livejournal.com]

I doubt I'll reply, either. Though I have time to think about it - after 25 years, a week more won't make a difference!

[frankie-ecap.livejournal.com]

It's funny. I've had exactly the same, from several different people - and I've been delighted. I tend to go to the opposite extreme - I always want to stay in touch with people I've been close to, even if we have little in common now - they're part of my history.